A day to a New Year
It's kinda intimidating to know how fast time flashed by like this. Next year, tomorrow to be exact, I will be 29 years old (in 7 months time)... It's scary.
You know... Just last year I thought that my love life is beginning to enter into a whole new level, but I never thought that I got to start all over again when my 20's is about to end. It's pretty tiring, to be honest.
To think that I got to start all over again, where I was 3 years ago, when I struggled to accept a new life and relationship with someone, who promised me zillion things; to protect me from harm, to really know who I really am, to love me, to shield, to provide, to marry me, to be a father to my Junior and Bianca.
I've taken a HUGE step and given up everything I had just to have nothing in the end. I didn't know that 3 years of relationship can be extremely superficial. I've been sleeping beside someone... who don't really knows and understood me at all. I've been with someone who just want to receive the things he ever want to have but never tried to analyze or willing to understand the whole misunderstanding and when things gone wrong... he ONLY knows how to blame others.
I regret... for being with someone who is so immature, but i thought... it was a blessing in disguise. I never realise that I am way much happier. And I never knew that long time ago, I had always been tired of his cheating and I have been wanting to leave him but I didnt have the courage to do so. At the same time... he let me see more about his pattern, when he lied and whether he truly loved me. I have learnt how to see and I am truly thankful for those periods for being able to see if a person truly loves you or not.
Entering into a new year... new age.... I want to show my gratitude for letting me learn many things for those past 3 years of pains-almost all my Christmas ruined, 1st Valentines days with a woman calling 3 am in the morning because she wanted to sleep with him "as usual"...she added, etc... I am thankful enough that I wasn't 5 months pregnant and found out my hubby fucking around, LOL. And I will never make the same mistakes. (Better will! because the relationship is far worst than my first relationship that I had, who cheated on me-or maybe i loved more than the 1st...)
I can only look forward now in this new year and I truly hope that my dreams of getting married to someone I love and he will love me back, treat me right and respect me as a woman who deserves to be loved (and not being ranted at and verbally abused at) will come true. I have never given up on the dream of wanting to be a wife who cook meals for her husband.
At the same time, I want to be a woman who got everything she wished for (secret and can't be reveal here... you'll see).
Love,
rich
You know... Just last year I thought that my love life is beginning to enter into a whole new level, but I never thought that I got to start all over again when my 20's is about to end. It's pretty tiring, to be honest.
To think that I got to start all over again, where I was 3 years ago, when I struggled to accept a new life and relationship with someone, who promised me zillion things; to protect me from harm, to really know who I really am, to love me, to shield, to provide, to marry me, to be a father to my Junior and Bianca.
I've taken a HUGE step and given up everything I had just to have nothing in the end. I didn't know that 3 years of relationship can be extremely superficial. I've been sleeping beside someone... who don't really knows and understood me at all. I've been with someone who just want to receive the things he ever want to have but never tried to analyze or willing to understand the whole misunderstanding and when things gone wrong... he ONLY knows how to blame others.
I regret... for being with someone who is so immature, but i thought... it was a blessing in disguise. I never realise that I am way much happier. And I never knew that long time ago, I had always been tired of his cheating and I have been wanting to leave him but I didnt have the courage to do so. At the same time... he let me see more about his pattern, when he lied and whether he truly loved me. I have learnt how to see and I am truly thankful for those periods for being able to see if a person truly loves you or not.
Entering into a new year... new age.... I want to show my gratitude for letting me learn many things for those past 3 years of pains-almost all my Christmas ruined, 1st Valentines days with a woman calling 3 am in the morning because she wanted to sleep with him "as usual"...she added, etc... I am thankful enough that I wasn't 5 months pregnant and found out my hubby fucking around, LOL. And I will never make the same mistakes. (Better will! because the relationship is far worst than my first relationship that I had, who cheated on me-or maybe i loved more than the 1st...)
I can only look forward now in this new year and I truly hope that my dreams of getting married to someone I love and he will love me back, treat me right and respect me as a woman who deserves to be loved (and not being ranted at and verbally abused at) will come true. I have never given up on the dream of wanting to be a wife who cook meals for her husband.
At the same time, I want to be a woman who got everything she wished for (secret and can't be reveal here... you'll see).
Love,
rich
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