10 Things I love about ... Me

As I did mentioned in my previous post; I didn't grow up as a positive person and that I grew up in a very pessimistic environment, filled with depression and I saw them, with my own eyes, how frightful depression is. Even now, throughout all these years and some years, where I thought I am allowed to learn how to become a positive person, the person who have been bringing me the biggest impact being a negative person got to be there or here, once again and affecting my whole learning process. It is disappointing to see that, this person supposedly to be the closest person to my heart, never fail to put negative input into my brain. It's so heartbreaking that, seeing others being able to pluck their courage to live on again as a better person because of their greatest cheerleader, who refused to give up on them, cheering them and encourage them 'til end of their fight.My heart crushed especially, all these while, I am trying to live my life making her proud of me and happy for whatever things I have achieved.


I always see myself as a lousy person, I was called prostitute by this person before (and I have no idea where this person got that idea came from), stupid and good for nothing. When I looked back, looking at my past mistakes, I thought "Yes, I was stupid and I need to make an amend". When I took a step back and looked at the past mistakes I have done, I thought to myself people fall and stand up again. My mistakes are completely normal, however why is it so hard for me, wanting to stand up again as easily as people did. I realised that, apart from being with positive people encouraging them, which they do have especially the person closest to them, I don't have and that's when I decided that since I don't have that person closest to me to encourage me, I have to start on my own by changing my own mindset and start to go out with all the positive people, who can help me to change my mindsets.
I didn't say that I have to be fully depending on outside people to give me the positivities, everything have to start from myself, my thinking and feelings. Helping from others, is one of the greatest source. But all have to come from ourselves.

And so here I am, since I don't have that closest person to feed me with that kind of courage,but keep on putting me down, I decided to list down the things I loved about myself, just like what the book of Secret has taught me.

10 Things I love about myself and am Grateful for.

I thank God for ...

1)Giving me the BRAIN, being able to visualize the things I can create.
2) Giving me this PAIR OF HANDS, being able to draw what I have visualize and create them
3) Giving me LIPS, to talk and asked people to teach me how to create what I have Visualize and Drawn and at the same time, Able to direct them to produce what I want to create
4) Giving me a pair of Big, Beautiful Eyes, my friends dying to have, to see and enjoy Gods creations
5) Giving me a pair of Legs, so i can run about, to dance when I am happy and share the Joy to other people, who needs joy
6) Giving me a Beautiful Smile, to influence people to be happy too, no matter what kind of difficulties they are facing
7) Giving me a Beautiful Voice to talk to people, to encourage them and to sing with joy
8) Giving me a Loving Heart, to love all the people around me
9)Giving me Great Daddy, Ah-Ma and Friends, who never give up on me
10) Giving me the Chance to live in this world..... With Purpose

Love,
Yullie

PS: "Don't give a shit about anyone else. Be Selfish. After all who you are? What do you want?" (Source from movie "The Women" about it's time to live your life for yourself and not for others.) Which I think it's true. If you are trying to live up your life on others expectations, you will be disappointed and crushed in the end. Unless you fill yourself first, You will never be able to fill others with the love. Have you ever wonder when you travel on the airplane, they always teach you, in the case of emergency, when the oxygen breather fell, help yourself FIRST! then help your children to put them on... Now you got it!