My Beginning
People say, "You'll gain something and you'll lose something". I am not certain how true it is. For now, I have to embrace that message. I got love and I lose my dreams. But, now, as I lose love, I gain one of my dreams that have been sleeping deep within me for 18 years and finally, I am just a step of getting there.
It is the time, where I think that it's only my beginning. I have wasted too much time loving and caring for others; Cared about they say, what they care about me and I am hungry for that loving attention from the one I loved, which I thought, that's what I need and the only reason I live in this world, but I was so wrong. I was too old fashioned in the past, to think that as long as I am a good wife, a good house wife who can cook and wash and clean and bear children are my only responsibilities being a woman. Many have trying to alarm me, I listened but my actions did otherwise.
I've woken up from my dream and here I am, like a phoenix, who was burnt, turned into ash, but live again. Except, Ill come out stronger.
I watched the movie named "the women", Meg Ryan's character, whose marriage destroyed and her dreams being a fashion designer dashed. She was too busy, caring about being a great mom, wife and she stopped herself from doing the things she loved to do, just because her rich father think she isn't up to it. But, she met her life savior during her stay in a camp, who shared with her the secret to life.
"Don't give a shit about anybody. BE Selfish. Because once you asked yourself the question, "What about me?".... everything changes for the better. I mean, after all, who are you?What do you want,...?"....
Those words, woke me up. It's true. I never asked myself what I really want in my life. I only think, "what do they want from me? what can I do to get What They Want?"
Gosh, if only I wake up from those thoughts earlier, I would never end up in Australia, engineering school or in banking line, worst still, Insurance; the least thing I ever want to do in my whole life.
I can only learn from those past mistakes. I have already embrace them and I am happy at least I am still alive to atone my mistakes to a better life. I am happier now, definitely happier. This is my beginning, My life.
Indeed, I lose love, but I gained much more; My Dream
Love,
Leoda
It is the time, where I think that it's only my beginning. I have wasted too much time loving and caring for others; Cared about they say, what they care about me and I am hungry for that loving attention from the one I loved, which I thought, that's what I need and the only reason I live in this world, but I was so wrong. I was too old fashioned in the past, to think that as long as I am a good wife, a good house wife who can cook and wash and clean and bear children are my only responsibilities being a woman. Many have trying to alarm me, I listened but my actions did otherwise.
I've woken up from my dream and here I am, like a phoenix, who was burnt, turned into ash, but live again. Except, Ill come out stronger.
I watched the movie named "the women", Meg Ryan's character, whose marriage destroyed and her dreams being a fashion designer dashed. She was too busy, caring about being a great mom, wife and she stopped herself from doing the things she loved to do, just because her rich father think she isn't up to it. But, she met her life savior during her stay in a camp, who shared with her the secret to life.
"Don't give a shit about anybody. BE Selfish. Because once you asked yourself the question, "What about me?".... everything changes for the better. I mean, after all, who are you?What do you want,...?"....
Those words, woke me up. It's true. I never asked myself what I really want in my life. I only think, "what do they want from me? what can I do to get What They Want?"
Gosh, if only I wake up from those thoughts earlier, I would never end up in Australia, engineering school or in banking line, worst still, Insurance; the least thing I ever want to do in my whole life.
I can only learn from those past mistakes. I have already embrace them and I am happy at least I am still alive to atone my mistakes to a better life. I am happier now, definitely happier. This is my beginning, My life.
Indeed, I lose love, but I gained much more; My Dream
Love,
Leoda
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