Simple Rules to Happily Ever and After

Thinking Long Distance Relationship doesn't work? Think Twice. I've seen 2 couples living separately, geographically and they still survive 'til marriage. Let me share with you how and why they can. Let this be an eye-opener and guidance to you; to be quick to spot every possibilities of you and your the other half if you can withstand LDR; Should you or should you not proceed to the kind of relationship, are you or are you not ready to withstand this challenge where trust and commitment as well as love between the both of you has put to tests.

1st Great Example is a friend of mine whose boy friend has been assigned to work in London. They were living apart for 5 years now and they still survive through it all. Well, I was a non-believer of Long Distance Relationship. Trust me, I thought it was really tough especially in this society nowadays where to trust another half is a real challenge. Before, I jumped into LDR, myself, she asked if I am ready to trust the other person and commit myself once again. Well, I was heart broken many times with my past relationships and I thought IF "you can cheat on your the other half even when you are in the same country, what makes you think you will not cheat when worst still; your the other half is far away". And that's why LDR is a no-no to me and eversince all the "Ra-Ra" kind of relationships I had been going through, I told myself not to fall in love and commit that much! Well, still fall into one. Anyway, to make the long story short, she asked me to ask myself IF my partner is as commited as I am (knowing my characteristics), 'cause everyone must be in the same level. If I'm the one who is more commited and more giving, more compromising, I'll end up tired and can't keep up, I'll end up getting hurt and things will not work out. She reminded me that we must keep on the same vision and direction. If my vision is to keep the relationship work yet my partner going to another kind of focus, I'll lost breath. Anyway, with all those pointers, their relationship last til marriage now. Her, now, husband, wanted her so much to live with him, have helped her to find a job in London, applied the neccessary VISA for her and she is ready to go and get herself gear up to start her new exciting job in London. And not forgetting; getting hitched.

Another friend of mine, who is also doing well with her LDR, asked me, "Dear girl, before you start in your LDR, have you ever asked yourself how much you trust this guy? Will he cheat on you? Is his level of commitment is the same as you? 'Cause if he commit lesser than you are to him, you will suffer. And, the most important thing is; are you everything to him? 'Cause Love is not just a word. Love is almost indescribable. It's hard to describe is because of this 'love' feeling, people do crazy things. You will be surprised what 'love'means to men; they can go even wilder than women are. And it can be felt by us, women cause we are sensitive being' I can't be more than agree with her. I still remember vividly, when she was hospitalised due to her food poisoning, he called her 4 times a day just to ask her if she is getting any better. It's really craziness to me cause it was damn expensive. It's just a fd poisoning. I mean I can see that they are in the same level of commitment; they communicate often and i can see the understanding between the both of them grew. It's like a chemistry. When they met, things went more fantastic. I personally seen them going through ups and downs together despite their Locations; they picked themselves up and they grew stronger. I've never seen them pin-point each others fault and they think of solutions together. I mean, even when I see people in relationships who stay together, this is what they lacked of. When they face problems, they blamed each other for the arising problems instead of discussing solutions together. No wonder marriage are not working; they are solving their own problems and worst still, they are adding another problems by quarreling and solving their relationships. It's a hassle and in the end, things just don't work out.

Another great example of good LDR is probably my mom and dad!I envy them. Truly.

Anyway, bottom-line is LDR work BUT it taked 2 hands to clap and you guys must be of the same level. If A is 100% commited But B only put 50%, isn't it obvious? One of them will give up. When i say the word "Level", it can mean many things. Level of trust, Level of commitment, Level of thinking, maturity, understanding, level of giving, compromising and even level of taking. You can't always be the taker and so are giver. It must be mutual and 2 ways. You can't always be blaming the other party for bad things happened or who cause the quarrel. Trust must be given also and in LDR, misunderstanding can't be left at one side for too long. It's poison. Try it! When misunderstanding or answers are not answered, it will happen again and it will accumulate and trust is broken instantly. You don't need to work hard to break that trust. It's just one second to break it. It's easy!

Anyway, the point is, I beleive LDR work. I really do. And it should not be a struggle if everything is 2 ways.

Keep up the Faith, Ladies!