Creating A New Me... How? Confusion

Getting nearer and nearer to being 27 is seriously no joke for me; especially you are still pretty much unstable in your career. As the matter fact, I have not been holding a proper job that I can call it career. I have been wandering and wondering around for coming a year now. I came to Australia to try my luck, just to find out that it's all nothing but dissappointment and to make things worst, I am not even allowed to get out of this foreign country due to some reason (don't worry, it's nothing illegal or all those sort). Some kinda luck huh?

I remembered when i was 5 years old, I knew I wanna be a costume maker... or in other words, it could be a fashion designer; dress people up. At the age of 15, I took art in high school and even joined an after school activities as an art member and I knew that I, still! wanna be a fashion designer. I told myself, to study in Temasek Poly to get a fashion diploma and I aspired to be the first singaporean fashion designer, who is able to make it into one of those highly looked upon branded company like Galliano, Anna Sui, Versace and all those high, valuable names. How I wish to be the key person to those people... (just dreaming).

At 25, I still waiting for the dream come true... and a year later, I still hoping the opportunity to come. And that one whole year is the time I spent in Australia, practically unable to do anything without any proper education in Fashion ( i only have my Diploma in Instrumentation and Control Engineering).

However, the so called "one wasted year" turns out to be fruitful. I really took this whole year, giving myself many deep thoughts of the reflections of my life and how much time i have wasted.... and money. I wasn't mature enough back then and I really took everything for granted. I was holding a good job with a good money. Regardless whether I'm good enough to hold on to the job or no, I knew that I suppose to handle my financial well. However, I let them go wasted by my excessive drinking coffee, shopping and smoking as well as my drinking habit... And my 'posh restaurant' dinners... And not forgetting my bills. I hate to think about how much i have been wasting my time. I could have use those money for proper use such as getting myself a part time study in my fashion design instead.

For the past a year, I really woke up my idea and I wanted to start all over again and I was wondering if it is too late. Friends of my age or even younger already started to get somewhere long time ago, before i wake up. I feel so left behind.

I hope by the time I'm back in singapore, I am able to re-create myself. I don't wanna find myself 10 years down the road, looking back what I have been doing, just to realise that once again, I achieve nothing and I have just let them gone wasted.. AGAIN!

Yullie